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Woman claims Donald Duck groped her, Duck claims “the bitch asked for it!”

Posted by on Jan 3rd, 2011 and filed under Breaking news. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

What me acting "daffy"?

A WOMAN who claims Donald Duck groped her at Disney’s Epcot theme park in Florida will have her day in court.  Donald to defend himself.

A federal judge in Philadelphia says Disney must defend April Magolon’s post-traumatic stress lawsuit, Disney have asked Donald to hit the court, and take the matter on like a… “duck to water.”

The 27-year-old Pennsylvania woman claims she was holding her child at the Walt Disney World park when Donald Duck grabbed her breast and then joked about it.  “I said, it’s a little nippy around here!” Donald quacked to reporters. “Get it?”

Magolon says the May 2008 encounter left her with nightmares, digestive problems, a fear of flying, and other permanent injuries. “Whilst Donald countered, I couldn’t give a pluck what the ol’ bag says, she’s lucky I stopped at her boobs!”

Donald says Magolon sued the wrong Duck, it was “Daffy”, and asked the judge to dismiss the suit or move it to Warner Bros.

But the judge refused, saying “Daffy Duck” was nowhere near Florida at the time, and that the case will proceed with Donald as it stands. A defiant Donald told the assembled reporters: “Looks like I’m shit outta a duck!… I really didn’t think I was being that ‘fowl‘… get it?” [sic]

Very few did.


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