Al Gore fired back at the Thomas Peep website for their article covering the forum that the former vice-president had purportedly used to recant many of his global warming theories. Al Gore’s phalanx of lawyers have threatened to sue the highly regarded publication over what he calls “a third-rate smear piece by a gutter journalist hell-bent on ridiculing my good name.” Never one to back down from a fight, Thomas Peep challenged the former vice president to sit down one on one to address the article and his “position” on the controversial subject of Global Warming. Al Gore accepted and yesterday met for a no holds barred discussion with reporter Peter Boo.

Boo: “Mr Gore, what is your current position on global warming?”

Gore: “My position hasn’t changed once over the past 30 years of exhaustive investigation. It remains that global warming poses the greatest threat to mankind in the history of the human race. The science is in, the time for debate is over. And unless we act quickly to reverse the vast damage we have inflicted upon this planet, we face severe and dire consequences.”

Boo: “Whoa, sounds pretty hairy.”

Gore: “Indeed.”

Boo: “Okay, first things first: Have you ever been diagnosed with schizophrenia?”

Gore: “No.”

Boo: “Bi-polar?”

Gore: “No.”

Boo: “Bi-polar-bears?… get it?”

Gore: “No.”

Boo: “You ever heard voices in your head?”

Gore: “No.”

Boo: “You sure?”

Gore: “100%”

Boo: “How about now?”

Gore: “No, Mr. Boo, the only voices I hear are you and me.”

Boo: “Okey-dokey, let’s run through a quick list, so we can move on: You ever suffered from a delusional behavior; been duped; been conned and or rolled; ever had the wool pulled over your eyes; scared by a spook story; been taken in by an urban legend; or a confidence trickster?”

Gore: “Not to my knowledge.”

Boo: “Are you a confidence trickster or a flim flam man?”

Gore: “No.”

Boo: “Would you tell me if you were?”

Gore: “… Yes.”

Boo: “Indeed… Last question: How do you respond to the snide remarks people make behind your back?”

Gore: “Such as?”

Boo: “Such as people referring to you as  ‘Al Bore’?”

Gore: “I have no response”

Boo: “Because it’s too hurtful?”

Gore: “No, because it’s childish”

Boo: “I’m guessing you’d consider ‘tubby’, “Captain Jackass’, and ‘The Big Fat Global Warming Liar’ all “childish,” as well, right?”

Gore: “Yes, I would. Would you consider it “childish” if I said that Ann Coulter was a transvestite alien sent to Earth to mate with Rush Limbaugh and that Thomas Peep was their unholy offspring?” <laughs>

Boo: <not laughing>”I don’t follow.”

Gore: “Never mind… I thought we were here to talk about Global Warming?”

Boo: “I think we’ve heard enough hot air already, don’t you?… Get it?”

Gore: “… excuse me?

Boo: “You’re excused”

Gore: “I’m sorry.”

Boo: “It’s a little late for apologies.”

Gore: “… but…”

Boo: “Indeed, Mr Bore… Indeed”