Vladimir Putin “Healthcare reform: Everyone over 40 years of age, to be shot!”
Barack OBAMA “People are angry, they are frustrated. Maybe we should just let them all die?”
Simon Cowell confirmed this morning that the first single off Boyle’s new self-titled album ‘Boyle Lanced,’ will be a cover of “Hey We Want Some Pussy” by 2 Live Crew with Wayne Brady on guest vocals.
“Ugly was in” he said on Fox News this morning. “I mean look, she’s still fugly, but we needed her rancid, like she was on our show. That’s the whole point! How can this woman’s voice be so beautiful when she’s clearly not. We needed her to go from bad to worse for the album’s release, not the other way around.”
My second number will probably be even sexier, I really think my fans have been deprived of that side of me so far. But not to worry, sexy Susan is on her way!!!
Woman claims Donald Duck groped her, Duck claims “the bitch asked for it!”
Zach Galifianakis “I Screwed Over Gibson” The Interview Where He Finally Tells All.
Leo DiCaprio Ready to Face his Face-Slasher
Jerry Brown remembers his buddy Jim Jones!
Bigelow wins best director!
Geffen lashes back: “I’m so vain..? Wasn’t the F#*KING song about me biatch?!”
Charlie Sheen’s wife checks into rehab over ‘crack-whore allegation’.