Rick Wagoner, upon hearing the news he`was being replaced by a fast food CEO
President Barack Obama announced his replacement for GM CEO Rick Wagoner today. In a surprise move, he named Peter Beaudrault, CEO of Sbarro, Inc. to head the embattled carmaker. “I am encouraged by Chrysler’s efforts to merge with Fiat so naturally, I’ve been searching long and hard for another Italian company to merge with GM” The $600 million company is best known for it’s food court presence in shopping malls.
CEO of Sbarro: Peter Beaudrault
“Sbarro has been delivering bland, greasy, lukewarm pizza to shoppers for years now and they somehow made that profitable. My hope is that they can work their marketing voodoo on General Motors as well. Look, if they can convince Americans to fork over their hard earned money for a tasteless, overpriced gut bomb with little nutritional value, they should be able to convince them to buy GM’s tired line of products.” When reached for comment at his home in Naples, Beaudrault implied Obama is a bit mad with power. “Can he do that? I have had no discussions with Barack Obama about taking over GM. As far as I know, the US president has no power to force me to do so. I also recommend to the American people that they check their Constitutions to see if he has the power to fire heads of corporations. Last I checked he didn’t but the American populace is so clueless, they probably don’t know.”
When asked about Obama’s comments about the quality of his food, Beaudrault replied, “Listen, America, it tastes as good as it needs to. Now, shut up you fatties, and eat it!”
Kids eating Sbarro's.