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by Doug EllinLakers star Kobe Bryant, fresh from his game-5 victory against the Spurs, defended allegations at a press conference this morning that he had “non-consensual sex’ with Anna Nicole Smith’s corpse 12 months ago. Security footage surfaced on YouTube last week taken at the Hollywood Forever Funeral Home implicating the Laker’s point guard. http://www.hollywoodforever.com/Hollywood
“Anna was definitely up for it” stated the Laker’s MVP “She had text me earlier that night with her address.”
When reporters asked how this could have happened, as she had already infact been dead for 8 days prior to their encounter, a red-faced and confused Bryant slumped in his chair. His Lawyer, Richard Grease™, sprung to his defence and fielded the question: “Just because you hear a women is a, quote-unquote, ‘dead root’ doesn’t mean they don’t know how to work a cell phone”, Grease stated.
“Being ‘good in the sack’, or sporting a ‘rack’ shouldn’t negate these important facts: 
Miss Smith was no brain-surgeon, that’s not the issue, but if they were handing out gold medals for filatio, she’d be a triple Olympian.” As a fellow athlete, Grease went on to say ”It would’ve been unsportsmanlike” for his client to have refused her offer.
Miss Smith was no brain-surgeon, that’s not the issue, but if they were handing out gold medals for filatio, she’d be a triple Olympian.” As a fellow athlete, Grease went on to say ”It would’ve been unsportsmanlike” for his client to have refused her offer.When the room full of stunned reporters asked to see proof of the alleged text message, Bryant and Grease beat a hasty exit.
