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Jay Cutler Already Demanding Trade From Bears

Posted by on Apr 2nd, 2009 and filed under Breaking news. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

Jay Cutler

Jay Cutler stoned at game?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

With the ink barely dry on the Bears deal, Jay Cutler, the disgruntled former quarterback for the Denver Broncos is reportedly already demanding a trade from the Chicago Bears. Cutler feels that being traded for Kyle Orton and an assortment of draft picks doesn’t show proper respect for his legacy. “It’s as if they have no idea about my place in NFL history, I view the terms of this deal as an insult not only to me but to every NFL player who’s ever strapped on a helmet. I will never set foot in the city of Chicago, let alone play for the Chicago Bears.” Cutler feels that his lifetime record of 17-20, QB rating of 87.1 and zero playoff appearances is worthy of more respect. “There are two players worthy of being traded for me, Tom Brady and Peyton Manning. Unless my agent calls saying I’m going to Indy or New England, I’m not setting foot in the airport.”

When told of Cutler’s comments, Bears defensive captain Brian Urlacher responded, “Fine, we dont’ want that little shit here anyway. What has he done in this league? He looks like he’s been strapped to a bong since he was five years old.” Former teammate John Lynch stated “Jay should count his blessings. With that ridiculous pot habit of his, he’s lucky to land a job at McDonald’s. I have no idea how he’s lasted this long in the NFL. Jay used to coast his way through team meetings, giggling uncontrollably and gorging himself on fried chicken in the back. I don’t know how Shanahan could stand it.”

Jay Cutler Stoned at photoshoot

Jay Cutler Stoned at photoshoot

Addressing the doubters, Cutler cited his performance on the last day of the 2008 season, “Anyone who watches the tape of me blowing that game to the Chargers and ending our playoff hopes will agree, I am one of the top 3 QBs in the league. And I expect to start getting treated like it.”

When reached for comment, Cutler’s agent’s only response was “Jay who?”

 

Developing…

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4 Responses for “Jay Cutler Already Demanding Trade From Bears”

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  3. DIFILOSOFA says:

    Is this for real? I wonder what the Cutler apologists have to say. The new coach of the Broncos must have his feet on a table now, laughing. If this story plays out to be the case, then the new coach has passed a litmus test for vision and leadership!

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