Apr 28, 2009, 05:52 PM | by Thomas Peep

The week started out well for Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt: The Hills couple wed April 25 in Pasadena, Calif. But now they have more to worry about than cold feet. Montag and Pratt — who are currently in Mexico to shoot a music video for Montag — are trying to fend off the Swine Flu pandemic that is plaguing the country. “They’re freaking out about the swine flu, and the attempted kidnaping” says Pratt’s sister Stephanie. “Spencer told me he is terrified about turning into a pig. They were trying to take a private jet home because they’re scared to go to the international airport, but it’s way too expensive. That’s when Michael Jackson showed up” Michael  Jackson met the newly weds and told them he would fly them home if he could borrow a mask.  ”Prat and Heidi obliged, but it was just a ruse” Stephanie told reporters. “Michael was just trying to lure the couple to Bahrain where Hiedi was going to be sold into the sex-slave industry as a way to compensate the King of Bahrain over Michael’s massive unpaid debts.” Spencer was onto him at the airport where apparently one of the King of Pop’s suitcases accidently opened. “Hundreds of multi-colored dildos rolled out” exclaimed Pratt. When he pressed the disgraced singer as to their purpose, the recluse star told him “They’re just toy microphones for children.”

Pratt and Montag beat a hasty exit, while MJ simply beat off!