David Geffen finally responded to Carly Simon’s decades old grudge and couldn’t help to point out out what he calls the “sick and twisted irony.” He held a press conference yesterday at the blue Iguana bar.
“Dear, Poor confused bitter, Carly: your song that first attacked me in 1976 went to great lengths to point out the following: ‘You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you…’, the fact is, the song was indeed about me! Therefore, by your own perverse rationale, (Now that you’ve crawled out from under the rock of silence on this) don’t I deserve the right to be as vain as I want? Since, in your eyes, my vanity is such that I would think even and indiscriminate song must, or could be about me..? Well my dear, it has taken you decades to surface from under your sick veil of secrecy to finally admit the truth, that my vanity is indeed, was, and always will be, incredibly well placed. I guess I have to think about it from a sociopath’s perspective (which I firmly believe Carly, you to be). Accuse someone for being the very thing that you indeed are yourself, and never admit the truth. Her song, much like a stalker (who calls a woman in the dead of night and gets their rocks off with the heavy-breathing, and the veil of anonymity that their cowardly cover provides) has enacted her own sick revenge prank on me.
And why was I “so vain”? Well, in your eyes I’m ‘so vain’, Carly, because I pushed another singer in my stable ahead of your own self-consuming career, so vain that I wrote a song to meter out my revenge, so sick that it gave me a perverse pleasure for all these years having people guess, all the while wrapped up in my own genius, and so gutless, that it took me the better part of 30 years to tell the truth about who the cowardly attack was referring to and the true motive behind the self-centered attack.
Maybe you should have sung: “I’m so sad, I probably think that being ironic’s clever, I’m so sad…” Sure, it’s no where near as catchy, my four decades in the music biz tells me that, but, it’s sure-as-shit allot closer to the truth.”