Brown chuckled, as if a distant memory registered “Jim could be a real task-master when he wanted to be. Hard but fair. That’s how I’d sum the guy up… hard… but fair! I… I loved him.” Brown stated.

Jerry Brown’s wonderful past.

"We're the two best friends that anyone could ever have..."

Victory

A victory for women’s rights? Or was Cameron robbed.

The right to be vain?

David Geffen finally responded to Carly Simon’s decades old grudge and couldn’t help to point out out what he calls the “sick and twisted irony.”  He held a press conference yesterday at the blue Iguana bar.

“Dear, Poor confused bitter, Carly: your song that first attacked  me in 1976 went to great lengths to point out the following: ‘You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you…’, the fact is, the song was indeed about me!  Therefore, by your own perverse rationale, (Now that you’ve crawled out from under the rock of silence on this) don’t I deserve the right to be as vain as I want?  Since, in your eyes, my vanity is such that I would think even and indiscriminate song must, or could be about me..? Well my dear, it has taken you decades to surface from under your sick veil of secrecy to finally admit the truth, that my vanity is indeed, was, and always will be, incredibly well placed. I guess I have to think about it from a sociopath’s perspective (which I firmly believe Carly, you to be).  Accuse someone for being the very thing that you indeed are yourself, and never admit the truth. Her song, much like a stalker (who calls  a woman in the dead of night and gets their rocks off with the heavy-breathing, and  the veil of anonymity that their cowardly cover provides) has enacted her own sick revenge prank on me.

And why was I “so vain”? Well, in your eyes I’m ’so vain’, Carly, because I pushed another singer in my stable ahead of your own self-consuming career, so vain that I wrote a song to meter out my revenge, so sick that it gave me a perverse pleasure for all these years having people guess, all the while wrapped up in my own genius, and so gutless, that it took me the better part of 30 years  to tell the truth about who the cowardly attack was referring to and the true motive behind the self-centered attack.

I'm so confused

Maybe you should have sung: “I’m so sad, I probably think that being ironic’s clever, I’m so sad…”  Sure, it’s no where near as catchy, my four decades in the music biz tells me that, but, it’s sure-as-shit allot closer to the truth.”

Charlie and his latest crack-whore?

New York, February 17 – Charlie Sheen’s wife (and closet crack-whore)  Brooke Mueller has checked herself into a rehabilitation centre in Malibu.

The 32-year-old mum of 11-month-old twins was seen “boozing heavily” with Sheen hours before going to The Canyon rehab facility. “I had twenty for the road” stated Brooke.

“It was just more of the same with Brooke. Her mother had been begging her to go into rehab, since she was eighteen years old. She’s been a crazy, drug-taking whore as long as I can remember.”

Her stepfather, John Fiore, confirmed she “is recognizing that she needs help and she can’t do it on her own. I think the penny dropped for her when she tried to seduce me for the money for a hit.”

Martin Sheen wasn’t as reserved: “Charlie has been hooking up with fast women since he was 16. Brooke is yet another in a long line of hookers that Charlie has decided to shack up with. He has a magnet for these fucked-up women. And they seem to land on him like flies on shit. He never learns. Let’s go thru the list;

Charlie and his girlfriend Paula Profit had a daughter, Cassandra Jade Estevez (born December 12, 1984). In 1990, Charlie accidentally shot his then-fiancee, Kelly Preston, in the arm; a minor wound needing two stitches. The relationship ended shortly thereafter. In 1995, Charlie married Donna Peele. The marriage lasted a little more than a year, from September 3, 1995 to November 19, 1996. Charlie had a long-term relationship with former pornographic actress Ginger Lynn in the late 1990s. He was also involved for a time with former pornographic actress Heather Hunter.  1998, Sheen tried injecting cocaine, accidentally giving himself an overdose. He was hospitalized, but discharged from the hospital soon afterward. I issued a public appeal for fans to pray for him and reported him for violation of parole. A warrant was issued for his arrest, and Charlie was sent to rehab.

2002, Charlie married actress Denise Richards after meeting her while filming Good Advice in 2001. They have two daughters, Sam J. Sheen (born March 9, 2004) and Lola Rose Sheen (born June 1, 2005).  In March 2005, while she was still pregnant with their daughter Lola, Richards filed for divorce from Charlie, accusing my son of abusing drugs and alcohol and threatening Richards with violence. Charlie and Richards’ divorce was official on November 30, 2006. Charlie and Richards were engaged in an acrimonious custody dispute over their two daughters, but have since made peace with each other, with Charlie stating in April 2009 that “we had to do what’s best for the girls”.

2008, Charlie married Brooke Mueller (also known as Brooke Allen), a real estate investor. This was Charlie’s third marriage. Charlie was arrested on charges of domestic violence, including second-degree assault and menacing, against Mueller on December 25, 2009. He was released from jail after posting an $8,500 bond. In a court appearance on February 8, 2010, Charlie was formally charged with felony menacing, and third-degree assault and criminal mischief, both misdemeanors.

The couple’s twins, Bob and Max, were born on March 14th. Last night I had to tell the kids, mommy and daddy were drug-fucked losers. I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted.”  Stated Martin Sheen.

"Yo, bitches... meez be sorry..."

Tiger Woods will appear in public on Friday to issue a statement. There will be no question and answer session, according to Darren Rovell of CNBC.

Tiger Woods will be speaking to a small group of friends [pornstar], colleagues [strippers],  and close associates [hookers and Pimps].

An alert at PGATour.com indicates that the news conference will be held at the headquarters of the PGA Tour. Woods’ agent, Mark Steinberg, issued the following statement:

“I have been speaking with sponsors who say they have been alerted by his reps that a public apology from Tiger Woods is imminent. It could occur as early as tomorrow sometime around 11am, and there’s going to be an announcement of the public apology that will be done at a press conference some time tonight. Like I said, we don’t have this yet from Tiger’s representatives. I logged in lots of calls over the last two hours, but I’m getting this from reliable sources among his–the sort of sponsors of his charities of some of the companies he represents who are saying they’re being alerted that something is coming down the pike, and it’s coming down the pike really soon. He claims he will say he is sorry, but still has no regrets.” When one reporter asked why? Steinberg fired back:  ”Becasue he banged over one hundered babes in the month of September alone last year… why would he be sorry about that! I wouldn’t be.”

Developing…

"I'm not too fat....am I?!'

Kevin Smith was delayed getting from Oakland to Burbank Saturday night because he was “too wide for the sky.” According to the ‘Clerks’ and ‘Jay & Silent Bob’ director’s Twitter, Southwest Airlines removed him from a flight after deeming him a safety risk.

“Dear @SouthwestAir – I know I’m fat, digusting to some, but was Captain Leysath really justified in throwing me off a flight for which I was already seated?” Smithtweeted.

Captain Leysath later replied: “Yes, to all, there’s only so much ballast we can shift around on a 727. We sat him on the right, we sat him on the left, we sat him down the back, even in the cockpit, nothing worked — it was like being a teeter-totter with Rosan Bar.”

“I’m way fat… But I’m not THERE just yet,” he continued. “But if I am, why wait til my bag is up, and I’m seated WITH ARM RESTS DOWN. In front of a packed plane with a bunch of folks who’d already I.d.ed me as ‘Silent Bob.’”

Smith was given a $100 voucher to Burger King, he ate and boarded a new flight from which he continued to chronicle his mistreatment:

“Hey @SouthwestAir! Look how fat I am on your plane! Quick! Throw me off!” he tweeted along with the picture below… unfortunately for Smith, Captain Leysath was gain at the stick, he immediately made an emergency landing and tossed ‘Fatty-McFatteson’ he stated.

One re tweet, summed up things: “but you are, look at you…you’re hideous!!!”

"I'm so confused..."

Jerry’s  SCHOOL LESSON

JB: “Hmm – isn’t Carbon Dioxide, or Co3 what trees breathe, Mr. Peep?

THOMAS: Why, yes it is, Jerry. But remember, it’s CO - TWO!

Ni'tri/Jack Jake/Rose?

Now that James Cameron’s “Avatar” has completed its three-part flight into history, surpassing a domestic boxoffice record that’s stood since the filmmaker’s “Titanic” completed its theatrical run in 1998, he will reedit both films into a 6hr epic.  This is an idea that has been brewing for some time said his producing partner  John Landau.  Cameron explained; “The  time machine aspect of  Avatar will be use to either send characters back to 1912, or forward to 2154. We could have Neytiri on the boat, and Jack Dawson on Pandora.”  ”Or we could have Jake and Jack on the boat” said Landau. “Oh, yeah, I bet you’d love to see that Landau, wouldn’t you? Twisted ol’  fruit”  muttered Cameron.

Landau's fantasy

“The only thing we’re going back and fourth on right now is the name. Titavatar, or Avartanic” said Cameron to reporters. John Landau chimed in, “We could just call it ‘James Cameron!’  because of all of…your… you know… success and power now…and  everything.” Cameron, nipped that in the bud by telling ‘Fat-boy’ to clam up!

Tiger as Quagmire - "Gigada-gigada-gigada!"

It looks like Tiger Woods will replace Seth McFarlane as the voice of  Quagmire in the new spin-off of the hit animated Tv show Family Guy. Creator Seth McFarlane, along former Simpsons writer Rich Appel are collaborating on the project, tentatively titled “Quagmire, Family Guy… not.”

Quagmire’s, the misogynistic womanising sex-machine pilot on the  show, is the most sexually depraved among Griffin’s trio of friends. “We were looking for someone who embodied those characteristics.” said McFarlane.

Tiger seems like the logical choice for the show’s main sexual predator and iconic deviant. Woods will also bring his own ideas to the table, “as the gentle, everyman persona that he hid behind for so many years was just a ruse, there’s probably a lot of bizarre sick stuff to be found in his life that he has kept bottled up until now, I can’t wait to see it.” stated an excited McFarlane.

Rihanna smiling moments before last year's assault.

Despite Rihanna’s recent romantic getaway with Los Angeles Dodger Matt Kemp, the pop princess insists she’s still flying solo.

“I’m still single, if that’s what you really want to ask!” she told 104.3 MY FM’s “Valentine in the Morning” show in Los Angeles on Thursday, according USMagazine.com.

Photos of Rihanna, 21, and Kemp, 25, embracing on a yacht on the Sea of Cortez in Mexico were captured earlier this month, but the Barbadian beauty is going date-less to the Grammy Awards this Sunday.

“I’m going to the Grammys alone, as always,” she said, evading questions about her romantic getaway with Kemp, only to comment that “it was a blast.”

Meanwhile Chris Brown is curently working on a new Album, the title track is called “Smack that Bitch”. “It’s about lashing out at life” Brown stated.

The album is being produced by Ike Turner.