We haven't seen this before, right?

How does Johnny Depp keep reinventing himself? ” By combining undeniable talent with an inane ability to see the unique attributes within the vast array of incredibly diverse characters he has chosen to portray over his career.” States his long-time collaborator Tim Burton.

On the set of their new film “White Face, Crazy Hair” which started production yesterday, the director spoke candidly about the process.

“It seemed like the next logical step in Johnny’s career. We’ve been talking about doing a project for some time centering around a guy with a white face and crazy hair.  We sat down one afternoon and worked out the plot. It all came together very easily. Then we pitched the studios and they were all equally excited. We said it will star Johnny Depp, and they were like: Yeah? And he’ll have a white face, and they were like: yeah, yeah?  And he will have crazy hair!  And they were like: Genius!!!”

"He'll have a white face and..." Oh shut the fuck up!

When asked for plot details Burton wasn’t as fourthcoming. “Well, let’s see.  He has crazy hair and a white face, and there’s a lot of crazy stuff going on. Crazy art direction, crazy stuff… going on… you know… I can promise you this: you haven’t seen anything like this before. Not in one of my films!”

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Bulls GM John Paxson ecstatic about signing Ukraine giant

Standing 11 feet 2 inches, Leonid Stadnyk of Ukraine (The world’s tallest man) has been drafted by the Chicago Bulls. “I am very happy be drafted by glorious Chicago ball’s” Leonid stated.

When reporters pointed out that he miss-pronounced the team’s name GM John Paxson said: “who cares what the bean-stalk calls us, as long as Stadnyk scores 20 a game and stands by our goal like King Kong swatting away offensive lay-ups like flies at a picnic,  he won’t have to go back to hunching over in his home-town coal mine like his grandparents still do”.

When reporters asked Stadnyk how he thought he could adapt to the NBA game he stated: “Me like rubber boots with fancy swish”.

NBA's New Big Man

“There are events which are so great that if a writer has participated in them his obligation is to write truly rather than assume the presumption of altering them with invention.” - Ernest Hemingway

2. “The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.”

3. “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”

4. “The only thing that kills a Washington political career is being caught with a dead girl or a live boy.”                 

 Arthur C. Clarke: ARRESTED IN NORTHEAST THAILAND:

• “Soon to depart this planet, I feel it time to reveal one of my life’s great discoveries. A large conspiracy looms over every man, woman and child on this planet, imprisoning all within its vast reach… From our shared vantage point, a seemingly dark and impenetrable forest spans the horizon. But, within it, an observable fact, or event, in which a vast scheme is at play.Compiling fragmented text from the millions of seemingly unrelated articles over the last 100 years of print, one can see the forest for the trees and slowly piece together the complex puzzle - ”The Grand Plan”.  This ‘plan’, this ’conspiracy’ is shrouded by a black cape which hides a cabalic fraternity of evil, cloaking the elite few who thrive within its existence and duping the many who would dare challenge its authority. What I’m trying to say, is simply this: smoke ‘em if you got ‘em, because ladies and gentleman, we’re all fucked!” - Carl Sagan Nov 1996