Vladimir Putin “Healthcare reform: Everyone over 40 years of age, to be shot!”

Barack OBAMA “People are angry, they are frustrated. Maybe we should just let them all die?”

Archive for the Category ‘Breaking news’

Woman claims Donald Duck groped her, Duck claims “the bitch asked for it!”

Woman claims Donald Duck groped her, Duck claims “the bitch asked for it!”

“I said, it’s a little nippy around here!” Donald quacked to reporters. “Get it?” he followed up.

Zach Galifianakis “I Screwed Over Gibson” The Interview Where He Finally Tells All.

Zach Galifianakis “I Screwed Over Gibson” The Interview Where He Finally Tells All.

If someone continues to display the same behavior year after year, then they cannot be trusted and deserve to be ostracized. They are a danger to themselves and others

Leo DiCaprio Ready to Face his Face-Slasher

Leo DiCaprio Ready to Face his Face-Slasher

According to our sources, Leo has told authorities that he will take the stand and testify against Wilson and her goat, if necessary.

Jerry Brown remembers his buddy Jim Jones!

Jerry Brown remembers his buddy Jim Jones!

Jerry Brown with his buddy Jim

Bigelow wins best director!

Bigelow wins best director!

A victory for women’s rights? Or was Cameron robbed.

Geffen lashes back: “I’m so vain..? Wasn’t the F#*KING song about me biatch?!”

Geffen lashes back: “I’m so vain..? Wasn’t the F#*KING song about me biatch?!”

And why was I “so vain”? Well, in your eyes I’m ‘so vain’, Carly, because I pushed another singer in my stable ahead of your own self-consuming career, so vain that I wrote a song to meter out my revenge, so sick that it gave me a perverse pleasure for all these years having people guess, all the while wrapped up in my own genius, and so gutless, that it took me the better part of 30 years to tell the truth about who the cowardly attack was referring to and the true motive behind the self-centered attack.

Charlie Sheen’s wife checks into rehab over ‘crack-whore allegation’.

Charlie Sheen’s wife checks into rehab over ‘crack-whore allegation’.

The couple’s twins, Bob and Max, were born on March 14th. Last night I had to tell the kids, mommy and daddy were drug-fucked losers. I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted.”

Tiger Woods PUBLIC STATEMENT: Golfer To Speak On Friday

Tiger Woods PUBLIC STATEMENT: Golfer To Speak On Friday

He claims he is sorry, but has no regrets. He screwed over one hundered babes in the space of one calender month alone last year… why would he be sorry about that! I wouldn’t be.” Gasparino stated.

Director Kevin Smith ‘Too Fat’ To Fly Southwest

Director Kevin Smith ‘Too Fat’ To Fly Southwest

“I’m way fat… But I’m not THERE just yet,” he continued. “But if I am, why wait til my bag is up, and I’m seated WITH ARM RESTS DOWN. In front of a packed plane with a bunch of folks who’d already I.d.ed me as ‘Silent Bob.'”

Jerry Brown’s School Lesson on Carbon Dioxide

Jerry Brown’s School Lesson on Carbon Dioxide

JB: I’m so confused….So, if burning fossil fuels releases Co2, far less than a volcano, and we know that Co2 is good for trees – that more will grow because of it. Then why isn’t driving a big gas-guzzler called “going green.”
THOMAS: “WORD”, Homey! WORD! (The two fist-pound