Bigelow wins best director!

A victory for women’s rights? Or was Cameron robbed.

Geffen lashes back: “I’m so vain..? Wasn’t the F#*KING song about me biatch?!”

And why was I “so vain”? Well, in your eyes I’m ’so vain’, Carly, because I pushed another singer in my stable ahead of your own self-consuming career, so vain that I wrote a song to meter out my revenge, so sick that it gave me a perverse pleasure for all these years having people guess, all the while wrapped up in my own genius, and so gutless, that it took me the better part of 30 years to tell the truth about who the cowardly attack was referring to and the true motive behind the self-centered attack.

Charlie Sheen’s wife checks into rehab over ‘crack-whore allegation’.

The couple’s twins, Bob and Max, were born on March 14th. Last night I had to tell the kids, mommy and daddy were drug-fucked losers. I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted.”

Tiger Woods PUBLIC STATEMENT: Golfer To Speak On Friday

He claims he is sorry, but has no regrets. He screwed over one hundered babes in the space of one calender month alone last year… why would he be sorry about that! I wouldn’t be.” Gasparino stated.

Director Kevin Smith ‘Too Fat’ To Fly Southwest

“I’m way fat… But I’m not THERE just yet,” he continued. “But if I am, why wait til my bag is up, and I’m seated WITH ARM RESTS DOWN. In front of a packed plane with a bunch of folks who’d already I.d.ed me as ‘Silent Bob.’”

Jerry Brown’s School Lesson on Carbon Dioxide

JB: I’m so confused….So, if burning fossil fuels releases Co2, far less than a volcano, and we know that Co2 is good for trees – that more will grow because of it. Then why isn’t driving a big gas-guzzler called “going green.”
THOMAS: “WORD”, Homey! WORD! (The two fist-pound

Titavatar/Avartanic: James Cameron announces bizarre plan for rereleasing both films at once!

We could Neytiri on the boat, and Jack Dorsey on Pandora. This is an idea that has been brewing for siome time said his producing partner John Landua. Cameron, the time machine spect of Avatar will use to either send characters back to 1912, or forward to 2154.

Fox Announces New Family Guy Spin-off

Tiger seems like the logical choice for the show’s main sexual predator and iconic deviant. Woods will also bring his own ideas to the table, “as the gentle, everyman persona that he hid behind for so many years was just a ruse, there’s probably a lot of bizarre sick stuff to be found in his life that he has kept bottled up until now” stated an excited McFarlane.

Rihanna attending Grammys alone a year after Chris Brown assault. Brown busy working on Greatist Hits album.

“I’m going to the Grammys alone, as always,” she said, evading questions about her romantic getaway with Kemp, only to comment that “it was a blast.”

Meanwhile Chris brown is curently working on a new Album, the title track is called “Smack that Bitch”. “It’s about lashing out at life” Brown stated.

The album is being produced by Ike Turner.

Johnny Depp’s New Film: “White Face, Crazy hair”.

“It seemed like the next logical step in Johnny’s career. We’ve been talking about doing a project for some time centering around a guy with a white face and crazy hair. We sat down one afternoon and worked out the plot. It all came together very easily.”