Vladimir Putin “Healthcare reform: Everyone over 40 years of age, to be shot!”

Barack OBAMA “People are angry, they are frustrated. Maybe we should just let them all die?”

Author Archive

S.A.C.M. BANK WINS 23 BILLION BAILOUT FROM FED

S.A.C.M. BANK WINS 23 BILLION BAILOUT FROM FED

” S.A.C.M. cannot afford to go under” Del Gressio told a assembled throng of tanned reporters.

TV HOST ZOLTAR ZAYS: FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE!

TV HOST ZOLTAR ZAYS: FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE!

At a rushed press conference this afternoon a tearful Chuck Speed, President of the KKL Network told reporters that TV reality star Zoltar Zays, is said to be recovering in hospital today from “severe injuries” after being attacked by the El Pollo Loco Crew yesterday at the Sunburst Hotel near New York’s JFK’s airport.  Zoltar, and his […]

Pratt or Prat?

Pratt or Prat?

Spencer (“I’m a Prat”) Pratt went on Letterman two weeks ago to proudly exclaim that he will not attend a nightclub anymore unless they pay him an appearance fee of $100,000.  Inquiries made soon after revealed that the truth to this statement lies somewhere in the middle, with certain Vegas hot-spots stating they would pay him well over […]

The Lowe-down on Nanny-Gate

The Lowe-down on Nanny-Gate

Rob Lowe‘s nanny battle has just taken a new direction – the actor’s wife has filed a declaration suggesting Jessica Gibson was a “was nothing but a filthy little whore.” Gibson filed a lawsuit in California in April alleging Lowe placed his hand inside her “pants in order to touch her crotch” and “grabbed Gibson’s […]

Heather Mills V Paul McCartney

Heather Mills V Paul McCartney

Heather Mills was “nothing but a ‘high-priced hooker’ and if value for money was on trial today, Miss Mills would get 20 years behind bars” according to the judge presiding over the divorce hearing between herself and Paul McCartney . The stunning tirade was made public yesterday after a closed court hearing in which Judge Bennet handed down his findings. […]

Grease Defends Kobe’s Dig at Anna Nicole’s Corpse.

Grease Defends Kobe’s Dig at Anna Nicole’s Corpse.

 by Doug Ellin Lakers star Kobe Bryant, fresh from his game-5 victory against the Spurs, defended allegations at a press conference this morning that he had “non-consensual sex’ with Anna Nicole Smith’s corpse 12 months ago. Security footage surfaced on YouTube last week taken at the Hollywood Forever Funeral Home implicating the Laker’s point guard. http://www.hollywoodforever.com/Hollywood   “Anna was definitely […]

“Space Aliens” and Dripping Dicks!

“Space Aliens” and Dripping Dicks!

         May 26, 2008 by Jim Bhat CIA Director Gene Greensleeves™ has laughed off reports that he was leading an investigation into a crashed UFO. Reports surfaced last week, after a New Jersey private eye, Dick Drippingly™made the bizarre allegations that, not only was the CIA “covering up the crash”, but also, currently “tracking the Alien pilot” across […]

Ballroom bukakki!

Ballroom bukakki!

The Washington Post– Tom Durong  Sunday May 25, 09:31 AM A press conference held this morning at the Marriot’s grand ballroom by the mysterious and controversial doctor, Earnest Bukakki™, outlined his plans for “Apeshit Construction”. The new enterprise will be shepherded by his long-term assistants, Andy™ and Geoffrey™. Bukakki pressed on, in at times ‘vague detail’, to present the full gamut of […]

Blacky lands Lohan film; Lohan filmed by Blacky!

Blacky lands Lohan film; Lohan filmed by Blacky!

The Hollywood Reporter by Sam Dwiss Reports surfaced yesterday from the set of Lindsay Lohan’s new movie: “If you can’t beat ém, beat off!™”  that have sparked a media frenzy in Tinseltown. An incident between her co-star Blacky™, making his feature film debut, who has been engaged in heated arguments about Lindsay’s professionalism on set, or “lack there-of!” has […]

Donkey act 2: Ass Gets His Ass Thrown Behind Bars.

Donkey act 2: Ass Gets His Ass Thrown Behind Bars.

24.05.08 A donkey in Mexico that acted like a jackass  and was freed last week from jail has spent the following weekend partying it up in Las Vegas The Televisa network on Wednesday showed Blacky on CCTV footage gambling at the Las Vegas Palms hotel.   Blacky gambled more than 200 thousand dollars in a marathon 26-hour session which one patron described […]