Vladimir Putin “Healthcare reform: Everyone over 40 years of age, to be shot!”

Barack OBAMA “People are angry, they are frustrated. Maybe we should just let them all die?”

Author Archive

Kermit The Frog Struck Down With SWINE FLU!

Kermit The Frog Struck Down With SWINE FLU!

I don’t want to accuse Miss Piggy of anything but let’s face it, you sleep with a pig every night for twenty years, there are going to be consequences.

Miss California Pageant Fake Boob-bombshell!

Miss California Pageant Fake Boob-bombshell!

    Friday morning a Miss California Pageant official confirmed previous reports that controversial contestant Carrie Prejean received free breast implants, organized and paid for by the pageant, weeks before the Miss USA competition.  In an interview this morning  Keith Lewis, the co-Director of theMiss USA, admitted to helping Prejean get the boob job. “We […]

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt in Mexico, ‘freaking out’ about swine flu and kidnap plot!

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt in Mexico, ‘freaking out’ about swine flu and kidnap plot!

“They’re freaking out about the swine flu, and the attempted kidnaping” says Pratt’s sister Stephanie. “Spencer told me he is terrified about turning into a pig.”

Crazy Fan Arrested at Britney Spears Concert

Crazy Fan Arrested at Britney Spears Concert

“I was going up to sexually assault Miss Spears, but when I got up close to her, I felt sick inside, she was pig-ugly!

President Obama to Legalize Marijuana

President Obama to Legalize Marijuana

President-elect Barack Obama was set Monday to begin the push for sweeping legislation to legalize the personal and private use of marijuana aimed at reviving an economy mired in recession.

Susan Boyle’s First Single off new Album ‘Boyle Lanced’

Susan Boyle’s First Single off new Album ‘Boyle Lanced’

Simon Cowell confirmed this morning that the first single off Boyle’s new self-titled album ‘Boyle Lanced,’ will be a cover of “Hey We Want Some Pussy” by 2 Live Crew with Wayne Brady on guest vocals.

Susan Boyle’s New Makeover

Susan Boyle’s New Makeover

“Ugly was in” he said on Fox News this morning. “I mean look, she’s still fugly, but we needed her rancid, like she was on our show. That’s the whole point! How can this woman’s voice be so beautiful when she’s clearly not. We needed her to go from bad to worse for the album’s release, not the other way around.”

Who’s Who In the Zoo? With Peter Boo

Who’s Who In the Zoo? With Peter Boo

” Yeah sounds like one rough deal, I’m sure you put up one hell of a fight. “We’re taking you away from this frozen tundra here in Antarctica, this wasteland, where you have to hunt all day for food, and compete with thousand of others just like you, and take you to this paradise where you can swim and frolic all day in 5-star luxury and we’ll take car of everything you will ever need.”

Susan Boyle to Headline 2010 Superbowl Half-Time

Susan Boyle to Headline 2010 Superbowl Half-Time

My second number will probably be even sexier, I really think my fans have been deprived of that side of me so far. But not to worry, sexy Susan is on her way!!!

Hannity Set to Play Lane’s Gay Brother in Birdcage 2

Hannity Set to Play Lane’s Gay Brother in Birdcage 2

It was just announced that Sean Hannity will be reprising Nathan lane’s role as Albert Goldman in Birdcage 2. After successfully fooling the Keeleys in Birdcage one, Hannity is said to play an Albert Goldman intent on revealing his gaiety to the Keeley family and force them to accept him. The sequel is structured around Hannity’s character trying to seduce the Keeley patriarch in an effort to prove “Gay is OK.” As Hannity has gotten more and more made up as he took over his own show the resemblance to gay icon Lane was impossible to ignore. Post Obama election, as hannity careened closer and closer to irrelevance, he needed more motivation to get people to watch his tired show. Gay is okay became the order of the day.

Said fox News head Roger Ailes, “I’m not sure what happened but the resemblance became impossible to ignore the attention Sean received from the gay community became impossible to ignore. He has a huge gay fan base and seems to be cultivating it, each night his lipstick application seems to be higher. I look forward to partnering with Paramount studios in cultivating Sean’s new image. I’ve got to be honest, when I watched his “expose” on Ruth Bader Ginsburg the other night, I wanted to kiss my screen – really… full on the mouth. I would have given Sean full tongue. Sean is set to be a superstar and gay icon…. look out Ian McKellen.”