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Smart Paper, Rude Inventor

Posted by on Mar 16th, 2009 and filed under Breaking news. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

manAn old man, who refused to divulge his name, has invented “smart paper”. As the internet is slowly destroying the print media business, one paper after another biting the dust, an old man in Philadelphia has invented “smart paper,” synthetic paper that looks, feels and responds like pulped-paper, but is entirely artificial. The attached microscopic wireless device allows users to download the entire daily edition of an paper online. This will allow customers who prefer the feel and tactility of paper to flip thru the latest daily edition of their favorite periodical wherever they please.

When a reporter asked him if his inspiration was helping to save the rain forests, the gruff inventor’s blunt reply was “shut the fuck up you tree-hugging pussy, I did it because I like reading the paper whilst taking a shit! That’s the way the news of the day was meant to be processed, on the can, takin” a shit whilst reading shit! 

When asked about other practicalities, he continued, “I wouldn’t try smacking a golden retriever on the nose with it, or lining a birdcage with it. But, if you wanna blow your wad over the lingerie section, it’s a damn easy hose off.”


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1 Response for “Smart Paper, Rude Inventor”

  1. Vin says:

    Nice post! I really like your writing on this topic. Very useful and informative. On a lot of blogs, they just keep on saying un neccessary things, but not you – very nice. Keep it up!

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