Vladimir Putin “Healthcare reform: Everyone over 40 years of age, to be shot!”
Barack OBAMA “People are angry, they are frustrated. Maybe we should just let them all die?”
“I just hope, that after all these years, they can finally get the person responsible for this atrocity and bring him to justice.”
The question remains: “Is he Peter Pan? or Peter Pervert?”
“After about ten minutes in, Tom suddenly jumped to his feet and shouted out: “Oh my God, I got it, you should play “Rainman!”
“I wouldn’t try smacking a golden retriever on the nose with it, or lining a birdcage with it. But, if you wanna blow you wad over the lingerie section, it’s a damn easy hose down.”
No one watched-men. Get it?
Acclaimed “visionary” director Zack Snyder, still reeling from the critical battering he’s taken the past few weeks over his “cinematic masterpiece” Watchmen, can’t understand why audiences didn’t respond to the film.
“I did everything exactly the way it was done in the comic, isn’t that what a visionary is supposed to do? [...]
Al Gore Admits: “I was Wrong about Climate Change”
In a early morning raid today, NYPD officers stormed Rush Limbaugh’s house in what critics are already calling the “St. Patty’s day frameup..”
Jerry Brown remembers his buddy Jim Jones!
Bigelow wins best director!
Geffen lashes back: “I’m so vain..? Wasn’t the F#*KING song about me biatch?!”
Charlie Sheen’s wife checks into rehab over ‘crack-whore allegation’.
Tiger Woods PUBLIC STATEMENT: Golfer To Speak On Friday
Director Kevin Smith ‘Too Fat’ To Fly Southwest
Jerry Brown’s School Lesson on Carbon Dioxide